Monday, October 13, 2008

Caution-Proceed at Your Own Risk-Raggy Times Ahead

Hi and welcome to my bitch and moan fest! I've never blogged one before, but trust me I have them often. It must be PMS...going to check calendar........YUP sure as shit, Saturday should be the big day.

I don't know about any of you, but I LOVE TO HAVE MY PERIOD ON THE WEEKEND! Crap, I have at least one male reader on occasion. Sorry Fred this is gonna be ugly, it's ok if you leave, I'll understand.

Yup, yup, yup, I do love me a nice weekend shot to shit because of Aunt Flo. And the stress of her visit making me all nutso for an entire six days before she comes.

Welcome to Monday on The Avenue, where today, ComEd was scheduled to remove our old freezer between 9am-1pm. Last night I was feeling sick, must be allergies from the pumpkin farm or stress or who knows. It's never something simple for me, it's always some designer malady. I Google too much. I digress, anyway, I went to bed early after a nice shot of Nyquil. But I was coherent enough to remember to say to Whynot, "when you get up tomorrow, please move both cars into the street, because with my luck, the drivers will tip that freezer right onto my new car."

Now I am not sure how YOU translate that request, but I meant WHEN YOU WAKE UP!! Given time to pee of course, but then we are talking about 5 minutes after YOU WAKE UP!

Whynot's understanding is when I wake up, take a pee, get the newspapers, read my email, check the football scores (of the friggin games he watched til the end yesterday) (what's the point? was the score going to change overnight? the Bears lost, get over it) eh, may as well play a game of Bejeweled. Now I'll go upstairs, pour some coffee, make my breakfast, read the paper, go wake up TOF cuz why should he sleep. All the while scratching his head wondering why Megryansmom's head is giving off steam.

I walked out to the garage and moved my car into the street, Whynot leaves at 9am so he should be fine. He is still clueless!

As he is leaving, the truck for the freezer is driving down the street. Do you think he turns around, to make sure TOF and I don't get cornholed? Nahhhh, what for? I know, the chances are slim, one look at me today and the guys would have become impotent. But still!

So I got a new phone this weekend, a Samsung Katalyst. I like it enough but dangit, why can't you change the default setting for messaging to something other than predictive text. Dear phone I don't know what I'm gonna say next, don't try to predict it for me! Other than that it's ok. I set a few of my old ringtones and texted Whynot to call me to see if it worked. It did, I didn't answer I was busy. So I get, I called, you didn't answer, just so you don't say I didn't call you. Aww shaddup! Today is my B & M day, pick a different one or not!

Back to that freezer, in order for the guys to get it out of the garage I had to moved this beam we have on the floor so we know where to stop the cars. So I called Whynot again and told him this, and asked that he please call me when he turns the corner so I can come out and place it in the proper spot. His response....Oh so you can get your boyfriend out the backdoor.

Oh how wrong you are my dear second husband! I vowed almost 12 years ago that you would be my last man. After you I'm done with men, I'm gettin me a nice wife that will take care of me!



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16 comments:

Leah said...

I'm sorry it was such a rotten weekend! Hopefully the next one is a big improvement!

Jennifer Suarez said...

HAHA! Men.. I tell ya!

Kaci said...

Yikes woman take a mydol! LOL! I'm kidding!! XOXOX

Good N Crazy said...

Can I have some of that wife too...

Oh and the predictive text thing..actually HELPS once you get past it... Just sayin'

Julie said...

Everyone needs a good B&M day :) Doesn't it feel better to get it off your chest?!

Julie said...

Pssst...by that time, if I haven't found what appears to be the last remaining decent man for my own second husband...you and me are totally hooking up. :)

Deb said...

Amen! I've always said the best spouse would be a wife!!

AirmanMom said...

You crack me up! Ahhh.....sister, we have all been there!
(it's just nice to read somebody else going thru it )



~AirmanMom returning to her blog...

travel girl said...

I constantly joke with a co-worker, who hates to work and LOVES to stay hoem and cook, that she could be my wife.

Cheating with the opposite sex totally encouraged.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Bah! I hope they got the freezer out okay! This will be much better for you....the CURSE should be leaving you and heading to me!

Cheryl said...

Doesn't it feel good to let loose?
I'm in my 6 day pre-hormonal rage right now...trying to keep calm by eating (That's nothing new)...but it's good to do a bitch blog.

;)

jill jill bo bill said...

This B&M should be done weekly so you don't get plugged. Hilarious! And we all feel your pain with our DA husbands at times. Great post!!! Bitch away anytime!

Deb said...

Mine keeps turning the freezer up as high as it will go in the morning before he goes to work, in an effort to freeze his water bottles. And then he never remembers to turn it back down. This has happened 4 days straight. And I keep telling him about it and he does the same damn thing the next morning.
Grrr!!!

Karen said...

OMG, you had me laughing with you. Oh Aunt Flo and I go round and round. Try camping and she decides she wants to join you! You get the award for making me smile today. You remind me of me with this post.

bv said...

YOU SO ROCK! I love you! You are officially my hero...or my soul sister! I was cracking up reading this knowing I can relate and knowing that most feel the same so often but wouldn't dare post about it! I dislike creating this perfect picture for the sake of appearing 'normal'. Your post is normal and I don't even have a period due to health issues! I do have a 2nd husband I'm I'm sooooo with you! After him I'm done with men!!!

georgie said...

did you change the look of your blog? cuz i need aminute if ya did...I came here and didnt even recognize the place....as ARNOLD says I'll be back...

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