Thursday, March 31, 2011


Well sort of.

Last week I wrote about TC climbing out of his crib and I sobbed uncontrollably, as I feared that nap time for him would soon be a thing of the past.

All week long we fought the battle.  I'd hear the thud, run upstairs and plop him right back into his crib.  Three, four, five and more times over and over again.

By Friday we were both exhausted from this stressful nap time dance.

Augie Dawgs decided he was ready for a big boy bed.  I protested.  But he's still a baby!  But!  But!  But! Despite my many excuses, Durwood set up TOF's old fire truck bed at their house.  The child took one look at the new to him awesome bed, climbed in and fell fast asleep.

Sunday morning, Durwood and TOF came over to my house to convert the crib into a daybed and for now we are all living happily ever after.


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Friday, March 25, 2011

The Month in Review


Where did it go?

Twenty five days gone.

Never to return.

Slacker that I am, has posted only five times in 25 days. That averages out to one post every 5 days, or something like that, don't get technical with me.

I just know you've all missed me tremendously, don't disagree, I hate rejection.

Surely you're all sitting on the edge of your seats, biting your nails in anticipation of hearing what I've been up to.

This is going to be riveting!

Humor me.

Just nod your head.

Alrighty then, I won't keep you in suspense any longer.


Tuesday the 8th - Whynot and I celebrated 22 years as a couple (not our wedding anniversary) by having the 2/$20 buffet at the local casino.  Electrifying.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Saturday the 12th - At ugly o'clock in the morning I dropped Whynot off at the airport and began my 2 weeks as a Spring Break widow.  I drove home and crawled back into bed for a few hours.  At a much more reasonable hour, Augie Dawgs, the boys and I headed out to a disappointing kids' resale, visited the J-town Greenhouse, browsed at a business expo and had lunch at Culver's.

Sunday the 13th -  I gave the dogs a bath.

Wednesday the 16th - Thanks to Sara at Macaroni Kids Augie Dawgs, TOF and I enjoyed a performance of Madagascar Live.  TOF was having a good time until the girl behind him scared him when she rawred really loudly in his face.

Thursday the 17th - I had corned beef at Augie Dawg's house and Durwood made his fabulous pistachio cake.  I'd post the recipe, but he won't even share it with me.  Which is fine, I'd rather just have him make it for me.

Saturday the 19th - Augie Dawgs, TOF and I were invited to a special screening of the movie HOP-coming to theaters on April 1st.  It's a super cute, but not barfy movie about the Easter Bunny.  GO!  SEE!  IT!

Sunday the 20th - My girl finally came back from Vietnam so I was off to the salon for a pedicure and no chip manicure.  She was kind enough to bring me back a little gift, a pretty hand fan.  I made me laugh when I saw that it was Made in China.

Monday the 21st - I had a dentist appointment, where it was revealed that the six cavities they found at my previous visit (and recommended that I get filled) were gone when I mentioned that I no longer have dental insurance.  Imagine that!

Wednesday the 23rd - Had dinner with Glitter Gurl. Nom nom nom, Panera's Steak Balsamico.

Thursday the 24th - Stopped at the book sale at TOF's preschool, where he and his classmates delighted their families by singing songs.

No big plans for the weekend yet.

It truly is the glamorous life here on The Avenue!

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 Move over Justin Bieber, meet Rebecca Black, a 13-year-old singer from Anaheim Hills. Her catchy tune recently went viral on YouTube thanks to the power of social media.

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Monday, March 21, 2011

Mea Culpa

Less than two months ago, I posted this...and now, it's garbage, all garbage!

I was proud, I was boastful, and even a little bit cocky.

I read blog posts, tweets, and facebook statuses that complained of non napping children and I thought to myself, psha, not in my house.

Whynot didn't nickname me the Sleep nazi for nuthin. 

I read the studies, sleep is essential for healthy neural development. 

Glitter Gurl napped until she finished kindergarten.  TOF still naps on occasion. 

But with TC we have been blessed with a stubborn, head strong 18 month old, who this past Saturday achieved the dreaded milestone of climbing out of his crib. 

It's all over for me.  But I have learned never again to judge another mother or grandmother that says her kids won't nap.  Instead I'll offer her a shoulder to cry on and swig of what's in my flask to ease the pain.
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Monday, March 14, 2011

The ABCs of Me

Shamelessly stolen from Lori.
Age:  48

Bed size:  King and this week it's all mine.  Well except for a little itty space taken up by the weenie dogs.

Chores I dislike:  Yes

Dogs:  Bella, a weenie and something mix and Gracy, a chiweenie.

Essential start to your day:  Coffee.

Favorite color:  Pink.  Always has been.

Gold or silver: Silver.

Height:  5'7"

Instruments you play:  Sadly I don't play anything.

Job title:  Chief ass and bottle washer.

Kids:  Six, 2 mine, 2 his and 2 that go home with one of his.

Live:  J-town.

Mom's name:  Lillian.

Nickname: Mema

Overnight hospital stay:  Food poisoning in Poland when I was 7, appendix at 15 my babies in 1985 and 1987 and waiting for TC to arrive in 2009.

Pet peeves:  So many that it could be a post all on it's own.  Plastic people rank up in the top 10,000.

Quote from a movie: I'm so bad at remembering quotes from about "Every time a bell rings an angel get's it's wings." (Ha!  That scored me 11 swagbucks!)

Righty or lefty:  Righty.  Married a lefty TWICE!

Siblings:  Two brothers.

Time you wake up:  1:50, 2:48, 3:20, 4:40, 5:00, 5:15, 5:30, 5:45.  Stupid insomnia!

Underwear:  Yes.

Vegetables you don't like:  Lima beans...blech.

What makes you run late:  Everything!  Whynot calls it running on Kaminski time.

Xrays you had:  An arm, although I forget which one, at 5ish, my little toe, my pinky, teeth and boobs once a year.

Yummy food you make:  This pollock makes a mean lasagna.

Zoo animal favorites:  The elephants! 

Your turn!  Leave a link to your post in the comments.
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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Moan and Groan

Stop me if you've already heard this.....


The sun came out for a bit today.  It felt so good.  I promised the boys we would go outside after school and nap.  Guess what?  The sun is gone.  The Weather Channel says it's 50.  Doesn't feel like 50 where I'm sitting.  I'm chilly and the furnace just kicked in, so it must be chilly.  Weather Channel lies...again!  Rain later today and tomorrow.  Oh joy! <--insert sarcasm font right there. 

I think I have to buy lottery tickets tonight.  Some big drawing is over $126 million.  That would be awesome.  I'd hire a cleaning lady.  Pronto.  Because my house is messy and dirty and I don't have the energy or ambition to clean it.  But I'd have to clean before she cam over because I wouldn't want her to think I was a slob.

It's Mardi Gras.  I've decided this Lent I'm giving up giving something up.  Wanna hear something funny...well you're going to anyway.  When I was married to my ex, I used to give up sex for Lent and he gave up beer.  If you knew him you'd see the humor in that.  All it meant was a bigger binge on Easter Sunday.  I just don't think when the time comes that St. Peter will turn me away if the only thing keeping me out is not giving up something for Lent.  I'm not saying that it is, but if it were. 

I was really hoping that by now the meds would have flipped on that happy switch in my brain or at the very least turned off the lazy one.  Don't worry, I'm not suicidal or anything crazy and I wouldn't hurt anyone in my care.  I'm just so dang tired and sluggish and cold and disgusted with GRAY!
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Thursday, March 3, 2011


Since the boys spend their days with me while Augie Dawgs works I have a ton of toys for them here on The Avenue.  As you can see we have a play kitchen, car ramps, Little People, instruments, construction toys.  I'm a sucker for a good garage sale.  Yet it seems that TOF and TC don't always play with the toys as was intended.  Take a look for yourself.

That laundry hamper is typically used to store the musical instruments, but today it's inverted and placed on top of four Elmo (Bozo) buckets and it becomes a ramp for launching a dump truck (the blurry yellow figure above the construction helmet.)  TOF was aiming for the folded play city rug on the center shelf.  There's a science lesson here I'm sure, something to do with inertia, momentum, acceleration and probably velocity too.

Exhibit two finds the basket still inverted but now TOF is an auto mechanic repairing something under his car.

Oh look, now it's a table saw!

And finally a desk where TOF and TC are obviously working diligently to develop the next Google or Facebook.

How about your kids?  Do they use their imagination to make extraordinary things out of the ordinary?

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