Friday, January 30, 2009

Are Ya Ready for Some Football?

TOF is!

How stinkin cute is THIS!!!
Go Steelers!

And yes, Mema doesn't know football,
but I do know that Steelers #4 Byron Leftwich
doesn't actually play. Our number of the week is 4!

Have a GREAT weekend everyone!

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Thursday, January 29, 2009


1. comment whore

A person on Myspace, Friendster, Downelink, Melo, Livejournal, etc. Who IM's you every .5 seconds reminding you to comment on their new blog. Usually resorts in people blocking you on AIM

(Entire text above was sent in less than 5 seconds)


comment whore

1. On blogs, a person who posts something for the soul purpose of gaining comments (usually positive) from other users.

2. One who constantly desires comments on their blog or guestbook.

comment whore

A person who comments many times on one person's blog, myspace..etc.

Hmmm so actually I'm a little more of a #2 comment whore seeking other #3 comment whores, with a side of harmless blog stalker added for good measure.

p.s. At this moment I wish my life script would head a little more towards Two Men and a Little Lady rather than My Three (Grand)Sons, but either way I'm pretty excited.

p.p.s. Oh my hell, did anyone see LOST last night?

p.p.p.s This is my 150 post. I am such a comment whore, don't let me down.

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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

WTF Wednesday

WTF Winter!!

WTF Snow!!

WTF Ice!!

Dear Mother Nature,

Did you not hear me crying UNCLE two months ago, when you started with this cold weather? I was LOUD, surely you heard me! I was annoying, you couldn't have missed it. Did you think it would be funny to dump snow and ice repeatedly outside my front door? I fail to find the humor in this. Yet you continue. Again and again. You have a very sick sense of humor. You allow the snow and ice to melt in balmy 50 degree temps, giving us hope and then BAM, send more. I AM NOT AMUSED and I am not alone. I've been asking around, there are a lot of peeps that think you suck! Winter was not one of your better ideas, maybe you should rethink it.

p.s. Humidity in the summer, that one sucks too!

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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Going to Atlanta

My mother in law suffered from Alzheimer's and Whynot and I were her primary caregivers. I loved her very much, but there were some difficult times. During these difficult times, Millie would become very angry with me and say that she was moving to Atlanta to be with her grand daughter. It wasn't going to happen on my watch and we humored her.

Perhaps if my MIL did move to Atlanta, she'd be living in a luxurious Atlanta high rise condominiums located near Peachtree Blvd in the uptown district referred to as Bucktown.

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Monday, January 26, 2009

Weekend Update

This is sort of a What I Did This Weekend/Meet My Friends/Pity Party type of post.


Let me start by saying there was no hummin of the bo bo or wild sex fantasies and it just goes downhill from there.

Since his diagnosis of Type 2 Diabetes two years ago, Whynot is on this let's get all healthy NOW, to make up for the bad eating habits of the prior 53 years. (for him, not me, oh hell no I am not going to be 55 this year, no sirree!) He exercises regularly, sticks to his diet and he's managed to take off 40 pounds and keep if off. Me on the other hand, I found his 40 pounds and then some. I would make a great yo yo. Chocolate covered of course.

In his latest quest for health, Whynot read somewhere that most adults don't get enough fiber in their diet and that a healthy high fiber diet can keep your diabetes under control. So we're off to Walmart for THIS!

And while we're there, Whynot suggests I purchase THIS!

Which is surely the equivalent of Chinese water torture!

Next stop, the mall. For shoes. Sensible shoes. The transformation is now complete. I AM MY MOTHER.

Next weekend Whynot and I may start shopping around for nursing homes.

Overall, Life is Good. Now excuse me while I fish my teeth out of a jar.


We're going to hold off on the nursing home for a bit. I think I may need a rubber room instead! Augie Dawgs came home today with news. She's pregnant again, it must have happened on her her lunch hour, because she's not due until September some time. Guess she wasn't hummin the bo bo either. Here we grow again. Mema Part Deux!

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Friday, January 23, 2009

Safety Tat Winners!

No chicken dinner here, sorry, just these fabulous Safety Tats.

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

20 10 6

Timestamp: 2009-01-23 12:13:28 UTC

The lucky winners are:

Blogger Rhea said...

Those are awesome. Simple but brilliant. Seriously.
Love them all...especially the little rocket ships.

January 19, 2009 1:37 PM

Blogger Letti said...

I like the quick stick boy/girl combo. Whoever thought of these are genius.

January 19, 2009 9:23 AM

Blogger Leslie said...

These are awesome! We bought them when we took a family trip to Disney. I put them on them in the airport and didn't take them off until we were home! I would LOVE to win some girly ones. I have two boys and a girl so bought puppy dog ones so they would be ok for all three kids but my little princess would love her own :)

January 19, 2009 8:58 AM

Ladies you have 48 hours to contact me with your mailing address and I will have your Safety Tats shipped to you. In the event that I don't hear from you, I will pick new winners.

A huge Thank You to Dawn at Safety Tat for making this giveaway possible. Don't forget you can use the code megryansmom09 for 15% off any order of Safety Tats.

Go check out the newly added Safety Tats. They're calling them Tween Tats, but I suspect they have something to do with this comment:

Stacie said...

I think I will get some for my bar nights, just in case, ya know...SAFETY is important. ;)

Thanks everyone for playing along!

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Thursday, January 22, 2009

You Are Soooo Going to Thank Me for This!

I subscribe to Life Script Healthy Advantage and everyday I get an email filled with health tips. I thought you'd all find this one rather interesting. You're welcome ;0

How to find your G-spot.


Remember this? -ell -e have a -inner!

Let me tell you, it -as very hard to pick the -inner.

Six made me laugh so hard I -et myself.

Nine -ere soooo close.

Three made me feel good.


T-o of you got the ans-er 100% correct.

The ans-er I -as looking for -as

"No More -"

Sooooo, I took all 20 names and tossed them in the back of the red plastic fire truck. Hey, it -as the first thing I tripped over -hen I -ent up to look for a hat.

Drumroll please...........

The -inner is:


Stacie, email me -ith your mailing address and I'll ship your prize -hen I get myself over to the post office. Thanks for playing!

Everyone else consider the aforementioned informational tidbit your consolation prize.

Don't forget this givea-ay! That dra-ing is tomorro-, hurry!

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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Entrecard and Triple Awards

Hey psst, you over there. Yeah YOU! Come here, a little closer, I want to tell you something. See that cute button over there on the sidebar >>>>>
The one that says Blog of the Day. That's an Entrecard. Oui Oui, so French no? Parlez vous Francais? I took a year of French in HS. With Sister Lucretia. Because I had a crush on JP. He ended up going in to the seminary, I sure can pick em.

Sorry. Where was I?

Oh yes, Entrecard.

Entrecard is a free blogging network that brings visitors to your blog. By participating you can display an ad of your blog on other blog sites within Entrecard. You also get to blog hop and meet new bloggers.

Which brings me to the second half of my title - Triple Awards.

One of the bloggers I've me through Entrecard is Lola from Lola's Diner, where we share conversation over a virtual lunch counter. Lola is a deeply committed, deadly serious, Entrecard drop master. I was pleasantly surprised yesterday when I received an email from Lola stating: I enjoy your blog and have given you 3 awards. Please stop by to pick them up.

Did you hear that? Did you? This part....I ENJOY YOUR BLOG. And choirs of angels sang joyously!

Thank you so much Lola for this awesome Triple Award – Sisterhood Award, Lemonade Award and Best Friends Award.

Here are the rules:

1. Put the logos on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude!
3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your awards.

Today I am presenting this award to anyone who stops by and leaves some comment love. Thank you everyone for your great attitude!

p.s. Leave a comment here to be entered in the Safety Tat giveaway!

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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Play Along With Me

A quick game today, because we're very busy on BOTH Avenues today. Play along with me and guess the REAL title for today's post. There's a little prize involved.

Good Luck!

p.s. Don't forget my giveaway HERE.

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Monday, January 19, 2009

S is for Safety Tat

In March, Augie Dawgs and TOF will be winging their way to sunny Mesa, Arizona. Without ME and my ever watchful eyes. To say I'm a little worried is a big understatement. What if they become separated? TOF knows his name, but not his phone number. What if? Or even what if?

So when the ingenious people at Safety Tat offered to send me some samples of their product, I gratefully accepted.

Necessity is the mother of invention and so Safety Tats were created, by a worried mom at a crowded amusement park. She wrote her cell phone number on her kids' arms in pen and explained to them that if they were to get separated the number would be a way for them to reconnect.

SafetyTat is a kids' tattoo that’s offered in either Original Safety Tats or Quick Stick Write-on!

With Originals Safety Tat you can choose from 21 designs, including some for autism and allergies. There is even a Safety Tat made specifically for an entire classroom headed on a field trip. What a great teacher gift! Enter your information on the website and your very own custom tattoos will ship in a few days. Apply like a temporary tattoo, remove the clear layer, press on clean skin. Add water and remove the white paper liner. They're waterproof and last from 1-5 days.

TOF loves his puppy "tickers" They really were very easy to apply. The tats are fun and brightly colored, making them highly visible. They stay put even after bath time.

The Quick Stick Write-on! is a peel and stick tattoo which requires no water to apply. It's hypoallergenic, waterproof and will last up to two weeks. Once the Quick Stick Write-on! is applied, you write your phone number on it using the supplied marker.

SafetyTat has generously offered to send THREE lucky winners their choice of Boy, Girl, or Boy/Girl combo pack SafetyTat Quick Stick Write-On! 6pk.

To enter:
For additional entries:
  • Mention this giveaway on your blog and leave a comment with the link to your blog.
  • Twitter about this giveaway.
  • Grab my button for your blog.
  • Follow my blog.
  • Follow me on Twitter.
  • Send large sums of cash to my Paypal account.....ha gotcha!
Please leave a separate comment for each entry. and I will chose a winner on Friday, January 23rd.

Additionally, you can use the coupon code megryansmom09 for 15% off your order. Please use only lower case letters since this is a case sensitive code.

Good Luck everyone!

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Sunday, January 18, 2009

Going to the Dogs

My own girls are gone now, but I still have a soft spot for canines and today's post is all for your lovable furbabies. (Sorry Meow Meows, maybe next time)


FREE Subscription to Dog's Life Magazine from Purina Beneful.

FREE Sample of Whites Premium Dog Food.

FREE SoBe-Dog tag.

FREE Greenies Dental Chew.

FREE sample of Flint River Ranch Premium All-Natural Pet Food.

FREE sample of treats from Doggy Delightz.

FREE Frosty Paws Frozen Treats for Dogs.

FREE sample bag of Purina One.

FREE pet safety pack from ASPCA.

FREE sample of Rachel Ray Nutrish Premium Dog Food

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Saturday, January 17, 2009

Saturday Shout Out

This prayer request was on Blog Stalkers Unite. Please if you do nothing else today, say a prayer for this family and add a quick thank you for all your blessings.

A Stalkers Friend in Need
Cynthiaa of Confessions of Yummy Mummy has sent me a very special request. Which I am more than happy to oblige!


I was wondering if you could give a little shout out for prayers, Kelly and Scott Stamps had their long awaited baby girl Harper today at around 7 p.m. She has been airlifted to AR Children's Hospital and has been given a "very critical condition" rating. The outcome is not looking good.

They need all the positive thoughts, prayers, and support they can get.
Thank you

Confessions of a Yummy Mummy
One can't help but be moved by this! Please click over to Kelly's Korner and find out what we can do to help! From one Stalker to another Stalker..and together we can make a difference!

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Friday, January 16, 2009

How Cold Is It?

It is so cold . . .
we stopped eating with metal cutlery. Some people are walking around with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!

It is so cold...
hitchhikers are holding up pictures of thumbs!

It is so cold...
chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!

It is so cold . . .
I dialed 911, and a recorded message said to phone back in the spring!

It is so cold . . .
the optometrist is giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses!

It is so cold . . .
kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: "But Mom, my pajamas haven't thawed out yet!"

It is so cold . . .
pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers' pockets just to keep them warm!

It is so cold . . .
the squirrels in the park are throwing themselves at an electric fence!

It is so cold . . .
Grandpa’s teeth are chattering - in the glass!

It is so cold . . .
Starbucks is serving coffee on a stick!

It is so cold . . .
the rats are bribing the alley cats for a snuggle.

It is so cold . . .
we had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords.

It is so cold...
kids stopped worrying about acne. The new problem - goose pimples!

It is so cold . . .
when we milked the cows, we got ice cream! When we milked the brown cows - we got chocolate ice cream!

It is so cold . . .
words freeze in the air. If you want to hear what someone said, you have to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire!

It is so cold . . .
Playboy magazine stopped publishing because no women would take their clothes off.

It is so cold . . .
we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up!

Yup, that's the current temp in J-town! It's so cold . . .
the best I could do for today's post are these corny jokes.

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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Geography Lesson

I studied Geography in the 4th grade with Sister Clara. A long time ago! We studied countries like Persia, Czechoslovakia, Ceylon and the USSR, which are now known as Iran, the Czech Republic and Slovakia, Sri Lanka and Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Estonia, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Latvia, Lithuania, Moldovia, Russia, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Ukraine, and Uzbekistan.

So when my friends at Holiday Rentals sent me some info on Finistere I had to learn more about it. Finistere is in France, Brittany more specifically. I also learned this...Finistère has a temperate climate. Temperate, meaning NOT EXTREME. Not extreme as is no below zero winds chills and no near blizzard conditions. That in itself sounds so very appealing to me right now, as I sit shivering and watching the snow fall and fall and fall.

A little getaway would be so wonderful right now and Finistere might be just the place, with it's beautiful coastline and rich heritage. If you're also looking for a getaway, you might want to try a private rental, instead of hotel rooms and you could save up to 40%!

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Writer's Strike

Sorry folks, citing unfair work conditions and low wages, Megryansmom has declared a writer's strike effective immediately.

Instead of the usual fresh and funny blog post, we bring you a rerun.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Call It What You Want...... head hurts, I've watched too much baseball (12 innings, that we are actually re watching right now), at least they WON! And the MAGIC NUMBER IS TWO!!!! But all that wouldn't fit in the title box and the latter really has nothing to do with my post anyway. Cept the headache part, maybe a little.

I started reading blogs a little over a year ago. Among other things, I care for TOF while Augie Dawg works. He gets here before the crack of dawn and I'm often not tired enough to go back to sleep. Besides I like the peacefulness of this quiet house, (before all hell breaks loose) as I sip my morning coffee. In come the blogs.

I started with Rosie's blog and then discovered Dawn over here. I followed Juju's story on CarePages and from there it gets a little fuzzy, because it spread like wildfire. A click here and a click there and I was sucked in.

I added these blogs to my list of favs, in a nice neat folder labeled Blogs. I returned every morning, coffee in hand, eagerly awaiting new posts. I had no idea what a Google Reader was or how to subscribe to posts at this point. Every morning I went through my list of new friends, hoping to get a smile or a chuckle or some kind of update. I laughed some, I cried some. A few blogs put things into perspective for me, the grass isn't always greener. I have no idea how I even arrived at some blogs, but there are no accidents.

Each of the blogs I have stumbled upon made an impact on me. There are many amazing bloggers out there. Blogs about anything and everything you can imagine. Family blogs, money saving blogs, sports blogs, craft blogs. Blogs about how to keep TOF amused so I can read more blogs!

I was too shy to comment back then, didn't think it mattered. (Oh my how it matters!) I was afraid of rejection. One of the first comments I left was on this blog. I didn't get rejection at all, I got me a genuine dose of southern hospitality, in a email reply. To my comment. I was sucked even deeper into this Land of Blog.

It was about then that I realized................

Hi, my name is Megryansmom and I'm a blog-aholic.

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Spicey Confessions

Sometimes, when I am all alone, shh please don't tell anyone. I might die of embarrassment.

Promise you won't tell?

Pinkie swear?

I Google myself! GASP

Most recently, this is what I found.


Meet Glitter Gurl. Ten years old.

Good student.

And she has this thing for the Spice Girls.

Well, more than a thing.

The Spice Girls are her life.

Even her nickname, Nutmeg, somehow made her destined to have a little Spice in her life.

Glitter Gurl, of J-Town, was chosen from 100 entries as the winner of the I Wanna Be a Spice Girl contest sponsored by Copley Newspapers.

She has won two tickets to Monday's Spice Girls concert at the New World Music Theatre in Tinley Park.

While many readers found the Spice Girls -- and this contest -- uncomfortable, because, after all, they are dubious role models, Glitter Gurl's mother, Megryansmom and even more parents don't see any harm in their children's pop idols. "For me it was Donny Osmond," Megryansmom said.

That's where the article cuts off, and I wasn't about to pay to read the rest of it, but fear not beloved readers. I still have 5 copies of that Sunday newspaper from July 26, 1998.

Nutmeg Spice as she appeared in the article.

Glitter Gurl submitted a creative entry that placed her among the Fab Four, er Five, in a color photo (by pasting her school photo on a magazine spread) and wrote why she wanted to join one of the hottest groups in music today.

Glitter Gurl's entry states, in part: "I think that the Spice Girls are so popular because of their honesty. They send a message to young girls about doing as much as anyone else, but most importantly, that they have the right to express themselves."

Girl Power is more than an empty slogan for a lot of girls. Could it be that the children of Gloria Steinem are taking women's liberation to another level?

"That's what I've told my daughter all along; you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it," said Megryansmom.

Glitter Gurl's entry photo

It was especially sweet to remember that little girl, filled with so much enthusiasm, because this weekend I helped her move into a dorm room. As I turned to say goodnight, I realized not too much had changed, she'll always be my little girl, still seeking to spice up her life and still wearing a Spice Girls t-shirt.

Love you Glitter Gurl! Jeem Jeems (Sweet Dreams)

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Monday, January 12, 2009

Pete's a Pizza

Unlike Pete, TOF is a not in a sad mood, but we can't exactly play outside when it's this cold. Instead, we had fun making pizza today! Chef TOF complete with his special apron, made by yours truly.

TOF's pizza was made on a paper plate with some brown construction paper for the crust, some red paper for the sauce and cheese compliments of our trusty paper shredder. Our lunch pizza, Archer Farms, Four Cheese, Super Target $4. Mmmmm Pizza!

Poor Pete! He's in a sour mood because the rain has cancelled his ballgame with his pals. Fortunately, Pete's father knows a few things about cheering up an unhappy boy. Dad decides to turn his son into a pizza!

Dad takes Pete through all the right motions: Kneading the dough (a back rub), stretching it (yoga), and twirling it in the air. Steig draws the dad adding oil (water), flour (baby powder), and tomatoes (red checkers) on top of Pete. Pete can't stop giggling when his mother says she doesn't like tomatoes on her pizza.

Pete plays along, staying quiet, until his mom's well placed tickles elicits more giggles. His dad says, "Pizzas are not supposed to laugh," but the quick-witted Pete retorts, "Pizza Makers are not supposed to tickle their pizzas!" When Dad announces it's time to slice the pizza, Pete runs off. His dad catches him and gives him a big hug, the rain stops, and the story comes to a happy ending. The warmth, humor, and fun pretend play make this yet another great book by William Steig.

It's books and activities like this that are the reason it takes me three months to read 173 pages of Twilight LOL.

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Sunday, January 11, 2009

Always Always


If I have any male readers, go away now. Now, shoo, shoo, shoo! This post will make you more blind than Rosie and some good porn.

Are they all gone? Good, than it's just us girls. Because I have a girly tip for you. I was blog surfing and came across this. And no offense to the author, because she shares some awesome tips, but upon first seeing this I said a little, ok a HUGE WTF!

Because for me, oh hell no, I will NEVER be that thrifty and environmentally responsible. But hey, whatever floats your boat.

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Saturday, January 10, 2009

Saturday Spaving

As I sit here tossing back the bonbons day after day, I come across some really awesome deals. Sales, coupons, freebies. I've put them all together in this neat little blog post. So without further delay, I bring you Saturday Spaving.*

In my email this week:

FREE one year subscription to Cosmopolitan magazine. Just a hint I read way back before my bloggy time, when asked your job info, enter teacher/education. It's not a lie, mommy=teacher.

New members to can receive an 8 x 8 photo book for the amazing low introductory price of just $6.99 with FREE shipping and handling. Sign up and use code PBS699 As a new member you'll also receive 1200 FREE prints! But hurry, this offer ends on January 30, 2009.

If you have a Kerasotes Theater near you, check out their FIVE BUCK CLUB. After a particular film has played a certain number of weeks, admission to those films will be available to club members for only $5. FREE to join.

Not a freebie, coupon or sale, but I received the information in email and this is MY BLOG thankyouverymuch! I've been paired up with my Vintage Valentine swap partner, everyone say hello to Liz. I was so excited about the Secret Santa Exchange, I jumped at the chance to do it again for Valentine's day.

From Sara at "Deal" icious Mom:

FREE subscription to Woman's Day from RewardsGold.

FREE download of Suze Orman's latest book 2009 Action Plan.
Available in English AND Spanish

From Clair at Mummy Deals:

Admission to The Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago is free until the 13th of January.

From Baby Cheapskate:

Get a free photo album from when you use code bzzalbum during checkout. Select any album valued up to $34.97. Shipping starts at $7.99. Good through 1/20.

Bargain Central

From Bargain Central:

Transcend 8GB Micro SDHC flash card $13.99 with FREE shipping. Limit 2.

Deal Seeking Mom

From Deal Seeking Mom:

Free Johnson's Buddies Soap.

Join Sam's Club and receive a free $25 gift card.

Free Pamper's Points Codes.

From The Thrifty Mommy:

All-You-Can-Eat Pancakes at IHOP.

And on that note, I am off to fill my tummy.

Have a great Saturday everyone!

*From the Latin spav meaning spending in order to save.

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Friday, January 9, 2009

My Imagination

This is my imagination on steroids.

No sooner than I had clicked the publish button yesterday did my creepy visitor arrived back. I called the police again. This time the officer came inside to talk to me. Then he went to talk the stalker. Then the stalker came over and rang my doorbell.

I answered the door and he flashed his credentials. I told him I could save him the trouble of sitting out in the cold and if he was investigating me or anyone in my household I would happily answer any questions.

Turns out "Tom's" real name is Tim. He is indeed a PI, looking for a missing girl named Roz, with a boyfriend who has friends in this area. I told him how freaked out I was by his presence and that he cold clearly see my entire house. He apologized and agreed to park down the street, where I can still see him if I crane my neck just so, but he can't see me dancing nakie in front of my picture window.

Ahhh back to life as usual on The Avenue. Nothing gets past Mema. And never let it be said that I lose my sense of humor under duress.

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Thursday, January 8, 2009

My Peeping Tom

Oh I am LIVID! I have an admirer a stalker of the real live physical variety. Nope not on my blog, although who knows, he may have a laptop and see into here too. No, this stalker has been parked on my street, two houses down from me for TWO days now. He can see right into my house, the whole house practically, because of the open floor plan.

Tuesday was day one, I looked out the window and saw his car and didn't think much of it, because it was similar to the car of that homeowner. He came and left a few times during the day, but I wasn't paying enough attention to notice if he ever left the car.

Yesterday, Wednesday-Day Two

I noticed the car driving down the street, past my house and all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. Same car, same guy! WTF!! (Yes, regardless of what I have said to you readers when I asked you to share your address with me, I AM A CRAZY PARANOID PSYCHO!) He has no business on my street, my street comes off the main street and circles right back on to it. Unless you have business here, you have no business here. I know every car on my street, I know of every person on my street. No, I am not like Gladys Kravitz, well maybe a little, I prefer to think of it as keeping my finger on the pulse of the neighborhood.

So I'm having coffee with my comatose husband and I say to him, that guy doesn't belong here. Now if I were blogging about my conversation with Whynot, this post would end right there, because I hear DEAD SILENCE. Nothingnadazilch.

Do your hubbies do that? Totally ignore you when you've gone off the deep end? What? You never go off the deep end? And why do they say "go off the deep end" I'm not jumping into the swimming pool, I'm getting ready to go bat shit postal.

I'm on my own here, Whynot is going to be no help at all. I call the police, at the non emergency number, although in my mind this is a real emergency. This guy is casing out houses to see if people are home and he's going to rob them. Only when he comes to my door he's going to kill me first. Ohhellno!!! I called the cops.

One Adam12, One Adam12. Possible 211 on The Avenue.

Less than 5 minutes later two squad cars and three officers arrive, surrounding the perps car. I know this because I am peeking through the blinds in the downstairs bathroom. Two can play his peeping game. There was an exchange of what appeared to be a driver's license, a business card and a blue folder. Some radio communication by the police officers and then they left and he stayed.


I get back on the phone and the dispatcher informs me that he is a private investigator for missing children, working for a family looking for their 19 year old daughter who has disappeared. He has a valid reason to be parked there. Really? I smell bullshit! There is no 19 yr old girl on this street!

He sat there until 1 p.m. then he left and came back around 3 p.m. at 4 p.m he left for good. I was peeking through my CLOSED blinds.

I have a message for you Mr Gray Four Door Chevy Cobalt Driver with Illinois license plates that I may publish if you continue to park two doors down and peer into my home.


Because if I see you again on The Avenue I may have to invoke my Carrie Underwood inalienable rights and dig my key into the side of your pretty little souped up four door car,
carve my name into your leather seats.
I may take a Louisville Slugger to both headlights
and slash a hole in all four tires!

Maybe next time he'll think before he peeps.

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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A Chubby Little Snowman

A chubby little snowman
had a carrot for his nose.
Along came a bunny
and what do you suppose?
That hungry little bunny,
looking for his lunch,
ate that snowman's carrot.
Nibble, nibble

Followed by roars of laughter all around!

P.S. Anything Goes is having an entre card giveaway.

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