I really didn't make any resolutions for the new year. Weight loss has to be a lifestyle change and I've been battling it for almost 24 years now. Pause for a moment with me, while I mourn the passing of my youthful and very thin self. I don't think I'll ever really get over that loss, the youth part, eh that is totally wasted on the young. But ohhh to be thin again. I really want to be the hot Mema at preschool!
So I've been dragging myself to the gym. Actually it's been Whynot and a crane that have been dragging me, but I get there one way or another. With my trusty copy of Twilight, that I have been reading for 3 months now, I find the one open treadmill and soon learn why NO ONE is using it. To my left is Mr High Blood Pressure, my face is beat red, I cannot breathe and I'm sweating profusely while my treadmill is set at 1.0. But hey I give you an E for effort, you're at the gym making an attempt to be healthy. I can deal with that.
To my right!!! To my right people, is the most annoying life form placed on this earth! Mr I Think I Have a Loogey in my Throat and I Will Continuously Make This Wretched Noise. Like a tiny rapid fire machine gun going off every 45 seconds with an added click for extra annoyance. For the love of GOD, could you either a) choke and die already or b) bring some water with you.
Behind me we have the newbie that refuses to ask directions and instead just presses every damn button on the elliptical for 20 minutes! Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep.
And then I see her in the parking lot. Annie Rexic! Here she comes in her matching little bra type thingy and yoga pants. Perfectly coiffed hair and more make up than I wear on a good day. Puleese! Get over yourself! You're here to workout, not turn heads. And just exactly who's heads are you turning anyway? The two above mentioned life forms? No thank you!
I'm done. 35 minutes, a little shweaty, nice racing heart rate. I can go home now and have a box of cookies. Here ya go Annie, you can have my treadmill.
P.S. Ooops I almost forgot.....Happy Birthday....pfft