Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Things That Annoy Me

I really didn't make any resolutions for the new year. Weight loss has to be a lifestyle change and I've been battling it for almost 24 years now. Pause for a moment with me, while I mourn the passing of my youthful and very thin self. I don't think I'll ever really get over that loss, the youth part, eh that is totally wasted on the young. But ohhh to be thin again. I really want to be the hot Mema at preschool!

So I've been dragging myself to the gym. Actually it's been Whynot and a crane that have been dragging me, but I get there one way or another. With my trusty copy of Twilight, that I have been reading for 3 months now, I find the one open treadmill and soon learn why NO ONE is using it. To my left is Mr High Blood Pressure, my face is beat red, I cannot breathe and I'm sweating profusely while my treadmill is set at 1.0. But hey I give you an E for effort, you're at the gym making an attempt to be healthy. I can deal with that.

To my right!!! To my right people, is the most annoying life form placed on this earth! Mr I Think I Have a Loogey in my Throat and I Will Continuously Make This Wretched Noise. Like a tiny rapid fire machine gun going off every 45 seconds with an added click for extra annoyance. For the love of GOD, could you either a) choke and die already or b) bring some water with you.

Behind me we have the newbie that refuses to ask directions and instead just presses every damn button on the elliptical for 20 minutes! Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep.

And then I see her in the parking lot. Annie Rexic! Here she comes in her matching little bra type thingy and yoga pants. Perfectly coiffed hair and more make up than I wear on a good day. Puleese! Get over yourself! You're here to workout, not turn heads. And just exactly who's heads are you turning anyway? The two above mentioned life forms? No thank you!

I'm done. 35 minutes, a little shweaty, nice racing heart rate. I can go home now and have a box of cookies. Here ya go Annie, you can have my treadmill.


P.S. Ooops I almost forgot.....Happy Birthday....pfft

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25 comments:

CaJoh said...

Glad to hear you are at least going— keep it up. After a while it will get easier.

Travel Writer said...

Keep it up! a tip, drink a glass of lemon juice before heading the Gym. This will help you burn those fats faster.

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

Rita....now I can cal you by name :)

I am in the same boat. I went to the gym yesterday and while I was on the treadmill there was a super skinny girl in front of me and I was wondering why she was at the gym and not at a all you can eat buffet.

I actually felt pretty good leaving the gym yesterday. I need to find the happy medium where I can enjoy working out. Right now it is still at the dreaded chore stage.

Julie said...

Have I mentioned that D clears her throat about once per minute? It is so annoying! And her desk is diagonally behind mine so I hear it.

♥georgie♥ said...

LMAO@ Annie Rexic!!! thats a classic

Leah said...

I love the bit about choke and die already... ROFL!! That made me laugh out loud.

kudos to you for getting to the gym! I haven't been to a gym in YEARS and even my work-out DVD's at home have been collected a bit of dust...

Jennifer Suarez said...

Good for you for going to the gym! I can't STAND the gym, so I made my own little home gym over time. I got a treadmill and a total body work out weight thingy. It's awesome. No more worries about gym people for me.

Jennifer Suarez said...

Oh and is that Happy birthday to you?! If so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Jennifer Suarez said...

Since I can't seem to put all my thoughts in ONE comment *piff* (I'm losing it sorry) I also meant to say,

THREE months?? On twilight?!?! The FIRST book?! Are you kidding?? I'm only so shocked because I got all 4 books for Christmas and I'm a few short pages from being done with ALL of them! I couldn't imagine taking so long to read it because they are SO GOOD!! Book #2 I couldn't even put down b/c I wanted to know what would happen next, I couldn't stand waiting.

Get reading girl! It gets even better.

Melissa said...

OMG, I want to go to your gym. You have lots of fun things to look at!! I just have all the gimpy old people with walkers...though there is always a good chance of a heart attack...unfortunately, it's usually me that feels like i'm going to have one! :)

blueviolet said...

Well, that's just another reason not to go the gym.

Letti said...

I always say I need to join a gym but I know I will never go. Keep up the good work. Oh and the same things that annoy you annoy me too.

Kristen said...

I didn't like going to the gym and that was another reason I started running again.
What gets me are people who walk side by side blocking the whole sidewalk. When they see you coming they don't even try to move a little.
Hey when you see this red face bouncing your way MOVE OVER your NOT JOINED AT THE HIP!

Vodka Mom said...

oh jesus that was funny!!!!

I am usually beside the little old man who goes 5 miles an hour for one hour and is on the ONLY good recumbent bike in the place.

yeah. I've checked him for a pulse several times.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

That's why I hate the gym. I feel like I'm in some dang fashion show Barbie gym where there are quite a few Annie Rexics trying to gain the attention of the sweaty guys pumping irons. I'd much rather sweat in the privacy of my own home. Beside, I always sweat in my cleavage area and instead of it looking sexy, it looks sleazy...like I've drooled all down my front.

Soxy Deb said...

At least your at the gym - I cant get up the desire to get off the couch. *sigh

Janie said...

Good on you for going to the gym!
Now, come down here and motivate me.

Please?

Stacy's Random Thoughts said...

ROTFLMAO! That was too funny...well, for me anyway! ;) Love the 'choke and die already' commentary...and Annie Rexic? Classic! ;) Thanks for sharing your experience - and thanks for confirming why I prefer to work out at home rather than go to a gym! ;)

Happy Birthday!!!

Jenni Jiggety said...

I do the treadmill at home so the only one making any weird noises is ME!

Betsy said...

LOL! I hope I wasn't ever one of those annoying people.

amelia bedelia said...

That was FUNNY! The dude with the machine gun cough would really make me mad! Get you an ipod and sing really loud!

jill jill bo bill said...

I am rolling! That is too funny! I refuse to sweat in front of people who I am not married to.

Rhonda said...

I enjoyed reading your exerpt of your visit to the gym. I think it is great that you are making the effort and you will be healthier for it! Good for you!

Shadows of the goddess designs said...

nice blog :) dropped by for a visit from a friends blog

Stacie said...

ah, yes, that is why I don't go to the gym. :)

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