Thursday, January 8, 2009

My Peeping Tom

Oh I am LIVID! I have an admirer a stalker of the real live physical variety. Nope not on my blog, although who knows, he may have a laptop and see into here too. No, this stalker has been parked on my street, two houses down from me for TWO days now. He can see right into my house, the whole house practically, because of the open floor plan.

Tuesday was day one, I looked out the window and saw his car and didn't think much of it, because it was similar to the car of that homeowner. He came and left a few times during the day, but I wasn't paying enough attention to notice if he ever left the car.

Yesterday, Wednesday-Day Two

I noticed the car driving down the street, past my house and all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. Same car, same guy! WTF!! (Yes, regardless of what I have said to you readers when I asked you to share your address with me, I AM A CRAZY PARANOID PSYCHO!) He has no business on my street, my street comes off the main street and circles right back on to it. Unless you have business here, you have no business here. I know every car on my street, I know of every person on my street. No, I am not like Gladys Kravitz, well maybe a little, I prefer to think of it as keeping my finger on the pulse of the neighborhood.

So I'm having coffee with my comatose husband and I say to him, that guy doesn't belong here. Now if I were blogging about my conversation with Whynot, this post would end right there, because I hear DEAD SILENCE. Nothingnadazilch.

Do your hubbies do that? Totally ignore you when you've gone off the deep end? What? You never go off the deep end? And why do they say "go off the deep end" I'm not jumping into the swimming pool, I'm getting ready to go bat shit postal.

I'm on my own here, Whynot is going to be no help at all. I call the police, at the non emergency number, although in my mind this is a real emergency. This guy is casing out houses to see if people are home and he's going to rob them. Only when he comes to my door he's going to kill me first. Ohhellno!!! I called the cops.

One Adam12, One Adam12. Possible 211 on The Avenue.

Less than 5 minutes later two squad cars and three officers arrive, surrounding the perps car. I know this because I am peeking through the blinds in the downstairs bathroom. Two can play his peeping game. There was an exchange of what appeared to be a driver's license, a business card and a blue folder. Some radio communication by the police officers and then they left and he stayed.


I get back on the phone and the dispatcher informs me that he is a private investigator for missing children, working for a family looking for their 19 year old daughter who has disappeared. He has a valid reason to be parked there. Really? I smell bullshit! There is no 19 yr old girl on this street!

He sat there until 1 p.m. then he left and came back around 3 p.m. at 4 p.m he left for good. I was peeking through my CLOSED blinds.

I have a message for you Mr Gray Four Door Chevy Cobalt Driver with Illinois license plates that I may publish if you continue to park two doors down and peer into my home.


Because if I see you again on The Avenue I may have to invoke my Carrie Underwood inalienable rights and dig my key into the side of your pretty little souped up four door car,
carve my name into your leather seats.
I may take a Louisville Slugger to both headlights
and slash a hole in all four tires!

Maybe next time he'll think before he peeps.

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Unknown said...

WOW thats be safe and keep a close watch-now I will have you on my mind all day!

Alpacamountain said...

Yikes! Keep your bat with you at all times...and a can of pepper spray etc. Cops are silly some days. Are they at least cruising the avenue to make sure you are ok?

Debz said...

Well at least you have a few sane thoughts. You tried to talk to Whynot. You did call the cops. Me...I would have just gone out there, Lousiville Slugger in hand, and demanded to know WTF?! I have a problem with cognitive reasoning though. I act first, think later.
Keep an eye on the situ. Through closed blinds of course. And keep your cell phone as close at hand as your pepper spray.

Kaci said...

Cripeys that's scary!! Be safe!

Kristen said...

Wow it's a good thing you are keeping your finger on the pulse of the neighborhood.
We have some of those in my neighborhood and I say THANK YOU. We have an email for our neighborhood and when someone doesn't belong it starts hopping!
if I wasn't at work all day I'd be on it too but I'm thankful for those that can help keep an eye on things when we are gone!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Scary. I've had that happen to me as well, and the way I look at it is, it's always better to be safe than sorry. Hope he turns out to really be just a PI.

Anonymous said...

Hah! Yeah, just be careful. I could picture you and the Louisville Slugger..... Eep! And btw, if you don't have pepper spray, little tiny travel sized hair spray bottles work wonders as well :)

Unknown said...

Listen to that little voice, screaming when things are not good on the avenue! That voice is one of experience and knows what is going on!
I don't think it is such a good idea to take a bat to Mr. Tom, these days we just don't know what he has sitting beside him.
Be paranoid (within reason)!
Be careful!
Let us know what the real scoop is on this "PI" (yeah right).

~AirmanMom returning to her blog...

Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

If you do go out there with your Louisville Slugger and keys make sure you have a camera in hand so we can be there with you and then come right in and blog about it. :)

Miz Q said...

BRILLIANT!!! Would have loved to see his face when all the cop cars showed up.

If he IS a PI, he clearly isn't all that 'private' lol Keep your eyes open.

Silly WhyNot, wonder if he'd notice if the guy was IN your driveway lol. pfffttt

AutoSysGene said...

OMG, I wouldn't like that either. Though good on you for notifying the cops!

And the Underwood song, one of my favorites to sing at the top of my lungs!

Sandy said...

Creepy! I would be going door to door gathering my posse to run him out!

Linda S said...

Slugger, mace, crowbar...just be careful..that is too creepy!

Betsy Hart said...

I think that would freak me out too... hopefully he is a reader of your awesome blog, and quits stalking you in real life! said...

Private eye??? Yeah, right! Talk about being inconspicuous! I say bring the Louisville slugger and a camera and knock on his window. Let's see what Mr. Peeper has to say then.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Lookout world, Megryansmom is on the case. I can totally picture you peering out your blinds, checking to see if the "perp" has left your neighborhood.

Do you have some sort of e-mail distribution list that all of your neighbor's subscribe to? Our neighborhood started one last year and it is a good way to stay in touch with one another about events that affect everyone on the block.


PS: Love the Carrie Underwood reference. Very fitting ending to this post.

Also, I had to remind myself who Gladys Kravitz is, but it was well worth the extra effort.

3 Bay B Chicks said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

That's freaky!!!! I wonder what the real story is behind his reason for hanging out on your street. MAYBE he's actually trying to catch a cheating spouse and the cops didn't want to give him away????

Ooooh I'd be soo curious. I'd make my hubby walk out to his car with me to ask him personally what he was doing there.

Unknown said...


I had an instance like this once but my "stalker" wasn't stalking me at all.

He would show up every morning while the kids were waiting out for the bus. His plates were not from our area...I called the cops, but never did call to find out what the deal was.

I think our guts tell us MANY things, so good for you checking him out!

Julie said...

Ooooh that is so creepy! Did you tell the dispatcher that there were no 19 year old girls on the street? I would call back every day until the police take you seriously and oust him.

jill jill bo bill said...

That would freak me out as well. And I was cracking up at your post. I could hear you screaming it in my head.

Anonymous said...

Calm down. He obviously showed the cops his ID and he is on record. He can't try anything because they have his license number. I think it's very swift of them to answer your call so quickly. BUT, he's a lousy PI. If YOU spotted him, everyone else did too.

I would not hide behind the blinds. Instead, I would walk down the street, around to the back and take a photo of his license plate. Possibly take another one from your yard so that he can see you.

That's just me, but it should prove to him that (a) he's not such a good PRIVATE investigator and that should make him move away from the area.

Good girl. Good girl. Now don't clean your windows.

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