Friday, January 16, 2009

How Cold Is It?

It is so cold . . .
we stopped eating with metal cutlery. Some people are walking around with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!

It is so cold...
hitchhikers are holding up pictures of thumbs!

It is so cold...
chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!

It is so cold . . .
I dialed 911, and a recorded message said to phone back in the spring!

It is so cold . . .
the optometrist is giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses!

It is so cold . . .
kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: "But Mom, my pajamas haven't thawed out yet!"

It is so cold . . .
pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers' pockets just to keep them warm!

It is so cold . . .
the squirrels in the park are throwing themselves at an electric fence!

It is so cold . . .
Grandpa’s teeth are chattering - in the glass!

It is so cold . . .
Starbucks is serving coffee on a stick!

It is so cold . . .
the rats are bribing the alley cats for a snuggle.

It is so cold . . .
we had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords.

It is so cold...
kids stopped worrying about acne. The new problem - goose pimples!

It is so cold . . .
when we milked the cows, we got ice cream! When we milked the brown cows - we got chocolate ice cream!

It is so cold . . .
words freeze in the air. If you want to hear what someone said, you have to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire!

It is so cold . . .
Playboy magazine stopped publishing because no women would take their clothes off.

It is so cold . . .
we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up!




Yup, that's the current temp in J-town! It's so cold . . .
the best I could do for today's post are these corny jokes.


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19 comments:

CaJoh said...

Perhaps that's why I posted on the heatwave… to send warm thoughts everybody's way:
http://cajoh.blogspot.com/2009/01/sending-warm-thoughts-your-way.html

Hope it warms you up!

A. Kichu said...

WOw that post was so funny.. That was the best blog post i have read today!

Undomesticated said...

I love that it says the temp is -17 but it feels like -16. I'm thinking once that - is in place it all pretty well feels the same.

Annikke said...

Thats cute!

YKDWhat? said...

It is so cold...
hitchhikers are holding up pictures of thumbs!

I . LOVE . that one!

Stacie said...

oh, yes, it is damn cold!

Elaine A. said...

Did you make these up yourself? If so, YOU ARE GOOD!

Love the one about the teeth chattering IN the glass! HA HA HA!

Stay warm! : )

Mary Moore said...

It's so cold I think I could actually wear a Slanket.

Tiffany said...

Holy crap that's cold! And we're all freezing here in Louisiana today cuz it's in the 30's. LOL

Linda S said...

I'm so cold I need to laugh, thanks!

1stopmom said...

Thank you so much for this post. I needed it. I am so sick and tired of the cold in Wisconsin.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Now THAT's cold! LOL!

Stacy's Random Thoughts said...

Hilarious! Thanks for the funny! ;)

dana wyzard said...

Don't you just LOVE people who leave a comment and say CUTE or WOW or THAT WAS FUNNY. Makes your day after putting so much work into your post doesn't it?

Well it's so cold HERE that the electricity went off. But we were prepared. We bought a generator this summer. . . . . forgot to buy a heater though.

NJDecorator said...

And I almost spit my soda out all over my keyboard! Thanks for the giggles.

Betsy said...

You poor poor woman. I couldn't handle it. I am cold here and its only been in the 30's. Guess I can't complain anymore.

jill jill bo bill said...

I am officially a whimp. I have whined and complained all day because it's 38 degrees here. I am so imoressed you came up with those! Too good! Now go curl up by the fire.

Sue said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Love your "It's So Cold" jokes! It's not quite as cold here...but close. It was -4 degrees this morning...warmed up to a whomping 37!

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

I'd say that it's pretty darn cold where you are.

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