Monday, September 1, 2008

Mommy Wars

Appropriately, it all begins on Labor Day. The great debate of whether to be a SAHM or to continue working outside the home.

There are no right or wrong answers here. Sacrifices are made on both sides of the fence and neither of the two choices should make a mom feel superior or inferior.

My mom was a working mom long before I was born. She worked out of necessity while raising two young boys on her own. When she married my dad and had me, she could have easily become a SAHM, however she continued working nights to contribute financially towards the well being of our family.

I have worked since I was 14 years old. I married, worked, had a baby, took a six month leave, returned to work. I worked part time, had another baby, worked part time again. Divorced, worked full time, back to part time, full time yet again. I started working at home out of necessity. When Big Mouse started college, I also took on a part time job to help with tuition and I loved it. Until I got fired. But that cloud had a silver lining as I was able to collect six months of unemployment and take a look at the bigger picture.

A lot happened in that six months, the biggest and bestest being the birth of TOF. Six weeks later, Augie Dawg returned to work, out of necessity. She has entrusted me with what I consider to be my greatest blessing, the day to day care of TOF. I'm working at home again and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Mothering is hard work. No one can make this decision for you. It comes down to doing what is best for your family and I applaud you for your choice.

So tell me how you feel.

Are you a SAHM or do you work outside the home?

What were some of the factors that lead to your decision?
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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Reflecting on Labor day, I have come to the conclusion that it excludes the Mother. The consummate worker. There is no rest for the weary. I suppose some day when we are old and too sore to move we will be forced to stop and let our children mother us. I guess we just have to be satisfied with Mothers Day as our day of rest. As if!
Sigh. Signed, 1 of 3

Kaci said...

I'm a working Mom and I desperatly want to be a SAHM. I work M-Th 7am -4pm and it kills me when I'm not with Elly.

Leah said...

I'm a SAHM who worked as a nanny the first two years of my eldest's life; she came with me to the house where I nannied for the day. It worked out well enough, and she LOVED the two kids, but it was hard never being on EMILY'S schedule. I enjoy that my kids can sleep as long as they need to, that I'm home to get them to day-time activities and playdates, etc. However, five people living on one person's income is a real struggle a lot of the time, so I can definately see the upside to having two workign parents in the home. THe goal is that once my youngest is off to school full-day, I try to find something part-time. I'm hoping to get them all into middle school first, so I'm more available to work in their classrooms and stay connected with them in that way, but we'll see.

JenniBeanV said...

I am a teacher so I am a working mom most of the year, and a SAHM during the summers. I have the best of both worlds, now that my kids are in elementary school!

Cookie said...

This is a tough one... I always say the grass in greener on theother side. When I worked I wanted to stay home, when i was home, I wanted to work! Frustrating!

BTW, i found you from your comment on Dawn's blog. I'm the other Dawn :)

Meghan said...

I long to be a SAHM but sadly, I must work.
I am currently the only one working in my house, as the economy has taken it's toll on the line of work my dh is in.

I respect both SAHM & WOTHM moms.

Darla said...

I'm a SAHM that works outside the home! :) I have always worked at least part time. I've, however, always considered myself a SAHM. I only work around my husband's schedule so he's always home with the kids...while they sleep. I work nights, leaving out the door right around bedtime..oftentimes the kids are already asleep when I leave. Usually they're asleep when I get home and I sleep only 4-6 hours in the morning until early afternoon (usually about 1p). So they miss me during those few hours they are up and I'm still asleep (normally I just work Friday night into Sat. morning). Just a couple weeks ago, however, I needed to start full time nights. My hubby had medical issues this summer so was on disability for 2-3 mos. Now I'm helping catch up, probably for the school year. My sister watches the 2 little ones that are not in school here in my home 4 mornings a week. So, that's why I feel still like a SAHM. My kids don't notice so much that I'm gone.

AirmanMom said...

Life has taken me on a similar journey as yours. I've worked outside the home and I have been a SAHM. My children are now having children of their own...one daughter is a sahm..my other daughter is returning to her nursing career. Whatever works, whatever is meant to be...whatever is best for the family!

~AirmanMom returning to her blog...

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