Tuesday, March 31, 2009

the downward spiral continues

Because my little Blues Fest isn't enough to keep my mind busy, I've decided to dabble a little in blasphemy. Seriously THIS is what has been running through my head this morning.....

...Adam and Eve. Just how did that 1st conjugal visit go down?

Adam: Yo Eve, look at my pee stick, whatcha say I put it in your pee hole and we see what happens.

Eve: Yeah, great idea! Let's try it.

The next night they tell their friends and neighbors how much fun it was and soon everyone is doing it?

What kind of crazies were those two?

Six months later....

Eve: Hey Adam, what did you do to me? I've been puking every day and my fig leaves are getting snug!

Adam: You said it was ok, wanna try it again?

Eve: Don't come near me with that thing!

Three months after that, without the benefit of an epidural, Eve delivers Cain or was it Abel, I forgot who came first (ha no pun intended)

Eve: Adam, I swear to The Voice, you come near me with that thing again I'll have the snake eat it.

Eve to her newborn son: Awww aren't you the cutest little thing. Let me stick my boob in your mouth to see if you'll stop crying.

Seriously have you ever given THAT any thought? How demented was that? And because I know that there really were no neighbors or TV, Adam and Eve kept making babies and when the babies were old enough they sat them all down and said "Ok boys grab your sisters and do as we say"

I think all this happened in England, which would explain those bad teeth.

Alrighty then, I'm going to take a little nappy now, right after I say an Act of Contrition.

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Unknown said...

LMAO...your killin me

Kathy B! said...

I'm sitting by the pool with my computer and I LOL. It is very quiet here... the other guests are looking at me funny. Thanks for that. Now people in multiple states think I'm nutty ;)

Unknown said...

lmao. do you feel any better now?

Debz said...

I am standing as far away from you as possible. I don't think the lightening can reach me here. Send me a sign to let me know exactly HOW hot it is, will ya? Thanks.

Annikke said...

I can honestly say I've never reallyt hought about all that..... hmmmmmmmm!

"Things that make ya go hmmmmmmm"

jill jill bo bill said...

Just to throw a kink in your thought process, it's not her pee hole...that would hurt.

Unknown said...

never thought about it...did see blue lagoon though...they figured it out!!

Anonymous said...

You mean it wasn't immaculate conception?

The Blue Ridge Gal
(off to check the fridge for an apple)

Michelle said...

I don't think a single Act of Contrition will be sufficient. Keep going :)

Jennifer Suarez said...

Hilariously true!

You are so going to hell for this, but don't worry, I'm sure I'll be there too. I heard they throw the best parties so we are all good.

Betsy Hart said...

I agree so true. THankfully they had a LOVING FORGIVING God to help them along! lol.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx said...

Haha, so first off, your comment instructions make me smile.

Secondly, this post cracks me up. I propose you come back to read this to solve your blues. :)

Or, you could always look at some of those stupid time-suck websites, like Post Secret (your secrets won't seem so bad), Cake Wrecks (ha!) and I think the other is Passive Aggressive Notes.... more funny. Oh, and my fave... the Fail Blog. Seriously, hours are lost there.

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