Friday, May 8, 2009

An Ode for Mother's Day

Well not exactly an ode, just my thoughts on mothering and grandmothering, well not even really that either. Just a bunch of sentimental crap I'm feeling at the moment.

As a young mother I always felt so rushed, in such a hurry, so much to do. So many things had to be just perfect. Where we were going or what was so important at the time escapes my memory. I cried when Ninny babysat and the kids got dirty or their clothes got stained or heaven forbid they ate something not healthy. I would puree fresh liver and carrots for my son when he was 8 months old. That same son who much to his embarrassment received a trophy for cleanest uniform the first year he played t-ball. Gasp! Surely a horrible childhood which would necessitate therapy. (Anyone need tips for getting grass stains out, email me, I have the sure fire remedy from back in the pre Oxy-Clean days.)

I was the mom who cringed at the thought of Playdoh, oh we had it, we played with it occasionally, at the breakfast counter while the children were carefully supervised so that there wouldn't be a big mess to clean up. I was the mom who practically vomited when sand was involved. We always took my dad's car to the beach in Melbourne. Sand in my own car was more than my obsessive personality disorder could handle. Sugar was served sparingly, whole milk, eggs and fresh fruits and vegetables generously.

As a grandmother I've thrown all care to the wind. My grandson eats Cocoa Puffs and Poptarts for breakfast, much to my youngest daughter's dismay. "We never got to eat that when we were kids!" she complains. In all seriousness I reply, "so have a bowl now."

Candy is plentiful at Mema's house. Two blue M & M's are doled out for every successful potty break. The cookie jar is always full and a variety of snacks ranging from Scooby Doo Fruit Snacks to Hostess Brownie Bites line the shelves of my pantry. Lunches consist of bologna sandwiches, hots dogs, chicken nuggets or mac and cheese. (Before y'all go calling DCFS, TOF eats a good amount of fruits and vegetables and takes two Omega-3 Gummi Fish Brain Boosters daily.)

Then there's playtime! We take walks, we pick dandelions and shove rocks in our pockets. We sing and dance like no one is watching. The backyard of The Avenue has not ONE, but TWO sand tables and a truckload of sand toys. Climbers, a playhouse and several rocking toys. Sidewalk chalk, bubbles and sprinkler toys. A miniature basket ball hoop, soccer balls and baseball bats and balls. For indoors we have Playdoh, paints, markers, and a forest of construction paper. We listen to music and bang on empty coffee cans.




I've learned to relax a lot in the short time I've been a grandmother, we get messy and we get dirty but it's all worthwhile when at the end of the day I hear, "we had a good day Mema!" Because it's then that I realize, I am important in the life of a child.

Here's hoping you guys figure that out sooner than I did, if you haven't already.

Have a wonderful Mother's Day everyone!


The flower pots we painted together for Mother's Day



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32 comments:

Kathy B! said...

Look at those beautiful pots! And I don't see any stray paint flung around either!

You are a good mom, and a rockin' mema, MRM! Happy Mother's Day to you :)

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Lovin' those flower pots!! What a wonderful project for the two of you to do together. I'm going to send a link to my daughter to do with her kids... they live too far away or I would be doing some pretty pots with my grandbabies too!

Happy Mother's Day!
Di
The Blue Ridge Ga

Soxy Deb said...

I would buy those flower pots from you - too cute!

It's amazing that we learn such patience and zen with the grands and (I can honestly say I) had VERY LITTLE with the children. I feel like a different person now. And although Lorelai's not around, I still find that patience with my BFF's little ones. She sounds more like the me of old though. I especially laughed one day when I was making cupcakes with the lil ones. I let them do ALL the work (unless it was something that they could get hurt doing, i.e. oven.) and BFF kept freakin and saying they were frosting them wrong - lol! How do you frost wrong, I asked. She got mad and left the room. I love ickle ones...

Jennifer Suarez said...

I'm still in the early Mom phase and do many of the things you mentioned in the first section. I can't help myself... although I do try and relax on occasion.

I think this is what grandma's are for though. Us parents are the uptight freaks, and the grandparents are the fun ones (who drive the parents insane along the way)

One thing I HAVE been trying hard to work on is getting over that rushed feeling. It's hard working a full time job and being a Mom, time is limited and so is my paitence. But I try very hard to cherish the moment at hand, instead of rushing to the next task. I'm still struggling, and failing, but I'm trying darn hard. :-D

Happy early Mother's day my love! Thank you for this wonderful reminder that us parents could/should loosen up a bit more often.

amelia bedelia said...

I think, too, it has something to do with age. when i had my first 2 boys i was 20 and 21, and i was the exact same way. but when i had cole, i was 30...and i learned to relax and appreciate all the little things.

those flowers pots are great!

♥~♥ Tracey ♥~♥ said...

Right back at you, my friend! I am relaxing a bit more now than when I the kids were little. It just takes way too much effort to stress over every little thing!

Tiffany said...

You sound like MY parents. I NEVER wore a helmet or any protective gear when I rode bikes or 4wheelers but when they have MY kid? He dressed from head to toe. WTF?

Stacie's Madness said...

YAY, I am going to be a MUCH more fun Grammy than I am a Mom, I can tell. :)

Jude said...

It's a lot less pressure when you're a Grandparent and since we aren't totally responsible for their upbringing we can afford to be more lax and giving whether it has to do with age or knowing we can give them back after we spoil them I have no clue, but I'm quite sure I'm a better Nana than I was a Mother.

Midwest Mommy said...

I love it! I was very much like that with my daughter when she was born. All of her clothes are perfect. I don't know if it was having a boy or just realizing I will never use these clothes again but I just let them be kids now. Who cares if their pants have grass stains they will only be covered with mud stains at the next outing. Although if you send me that secret formula I might just probably use it :-)

Lola said...

Those flower pots are awesome.

My son (the big guy from the meet-up) was moving cinder blocks for our garden today and somehow managed to grind dirt into his carpenter pants so bad I doubt it will ever come out. (It wasn't even necessary to be kneeling, so WTH?). If the OxyClean doesn't work I'll take you up on that grass stain removal tip.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

This post made me cry, MRM. It is beautiful, eloquent, and honestly describes me to a T. I have much to learn as a Mom and have been thinking more and more lately that maybe if I just threw caution to the wind once in a while, everyone in my house might have just a little bit more fun.

Thank you for one of the best posts I have ever read (and you know I've read my fair share.)

Happy Mother's Day, my friend.

-Francesca

PS: I am glad that you were able to correctly identify my ethnicity. So often people think I am Irish. :)

Another thought: You should link this post to our little carnival next week. Get your name in there for all of the prizes.

Patricia Rockwell said...

Glad to see you feeling better, Rita! Happy Mother's Day!

Miz Q said...

Oh Miz Rita this is a lovely post. I am SO READY for grandkids!! Unfortunately (or not maybe) my kids are so NOT ready to be parents lol

and so I wait . . .

Leah said...

beautiful pots!

And I think I was a clean-freak mom with Emily for awhile, but then Jared and Connor came along and it was just too exhausting keeping up with that mentality. LOL We don't paint often, mostly because we're just not HOME very often, long enough to get it all out. But play-doh is out several times a day, markers and crayons are easily accessible (for the 2 out of 3 kids in my home able to work the child lock on the cupboard, because I'm relaxed about the art stuff, but I'm not CRAZY!! Connor gets access when there's someone able to partially supervise). I think that being a clean-freak mom isn't such a bad thing, though, either, because it teaches kids how to be responible for their things when they're done with them, and treat their stuff respectfully...

Nap Warden said...

I'm trying to relax...it's hard! Love the pots:)

Julie said...

Happy Mothers Day, Rita!!!!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

What a beautiful post! I agree with amelia bedelia - since I started off as an 'older' mom, I've had people comment about how calm I can be in the middle of a crisis... Although I do try to keep the Princess Nagger clean in a borderline OCD way...so if you could email me your cure for grass stains, I'd be forever grateful! (grin!)

You are a great mom and and awesome mema! :) I would enjoy coming over to play with all the cool stuff and eat the yummy snacks... ;) Those flower pots turned out absolutely beautiful!!!

Wishing you a Happy Mother's Day! :)

Vodka Mom said...

Happy Mother's Day!!!

I am Harriet said...

Hi there.
I'm just stopping by to see hour your comment challenge is going.
Have a great week!

Jenni Jiggety said...

Pureed LIVER??? That is child abuse! ;-P

Happy Mother's Day, Rita!

Michelle said...

I think you need to go hang out with my mom... or maybe not. She doesn't need any more encouragement ;)

And ummm yeah. How DO you get out grass stains?

Juls said...

LOVELY! :) what a fun activity! I may have to invest in some flower pots..and paint.

MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

What a WONDERFUL, relevant post. I tell you, I look at my dad with my daughters sometimes and say outloud, "Dude, who ARE you right now?" Over Spring Break, he actually played soccer with the girls. SOCCER! While RUNNING! And laughing! In the sun!!!

We never did that when I was a kid. And I was okay with that; so long as I got to be near him, I didn't care if we played outside or just sat around watching TV. Our big day out would consist of me riding shotgun while he went to different stores around town, paying his credit cards. We'd usually end the day having ice cream at the mall. I loved every minute of it, but I know that my daughters are seeing a special side of him that I never got to see when I was a kid. I'm so glad they get to see the playful side of grandpa.

Your pots are AWESOME. What kind of paint did you use? And did you draw the designs freehand? NICE!

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

What a beautiful post... truly. To be important to a child, well, that's one of the most important things one could be. So true.

Your flower pots are beautiful. Even if all the flowers die (like mine do) it won't matter because the flower POTS are so pretty!

-stephanie- said...

Those are some happy looking pots. I would love to be a flower in them.

Helene said...

Those pots are gorgeous!!!!! You sound like an amazing grandma!!! I've recently learned that I need to let go of the perfection and just let my kids be kids...the messes can be cleaned but it's the memories of the happy, creative times that they'll always remember!

My mom was the same way about sugar cereals and poptarts but now she lets my kids eat sugar galore and I always whine "we never got to eat that stuff". LOL!!

So glad you're participating in the We Heart Art carnival!!

Hajar Zamzam Ismail said...

Oh! Thank you for this! This is very insightful. Hugs!

*sara* said...

Those flower pots are awesome!

Shannon said...

How insightful. I am the mom of two boys ages 1 and 2, born 366 days apart. I am sooo trying to savor this time. I think you are spot on... you are doing what grandparents do! My grandma was juste like you. I just found your blog while browing around for great new blogs. I am following now. I'd love you to stop by mine if you get a chance.

Simply Complex said...

what a great idea. i love these

Deb said...

What a sweet post. I love those flower pots!!

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