Muh man’s birthday is rapidly approaching and I need to select an extremely awesome gift for this very special birthday number 55. Double nickels! Something that will say "I love you even when you run off to do your thing while leaving me with a seriously over grown lawn." Without a large outlay of cash, because cash and I don’t have a good relationship. Cash NEVER stands by me through thick and thin, it comes and goes, usually more of the goes.
Why am I always so broke!? Am I the only person you know that earns SIX figures and complains of money woes? That’s right peeps, I’m coming clean, my annual income is SIX figures. $1,040.00. One, two, three, four, decimal point, five, six. Unfortunately champagne wishes and caviar dreams don't come true unless the six digits are ALL to the left of that itty bitty ever important decimal point. Hrmphhh, how trivial.
Hmm, what's this in my inbox?
An offer from my fairy godfather at Eden Fantasys to review another fantabulous sex toy! B-I-N-G-O! The perfect gift solution.
Oh look, it's mailman Steve, at my door already, holding a plain white box with no incriminating return address. Wow, Eden Fantasys isn't kidding when they say fast shipping!
My selection this time.....the Bedside Lover's Tool Kit, because seriously what man doesn't love when it's all about him topped off with a little (or a lot of) hummin the bobo. I was especially excited about the feather duster and honey dust, I had this stuff a million years ago in another galaxy and it was awesome! But yeah, it was a sex toy that I used with my ex husband and I think it may have been one of the many things I told him to shove up his ass when I left. Plus reusing stuff like that in a new relationship, just so not cool.
The kit is tucked neatly into a box that conceals your intimate indulgences easily within your reach. It looks like a little jewelry box that no one would question if displayed on your nightstand. The portions are small, like smaller than sample size small, about 1 ounce of each. Just sayin.
The feather duster, eh, it was ok. Perhaps a small brush or pouf would be better for application. The honey dust was a serious disappointment and not at all as I remembered it. I'd like to take a moment to address the Kama Sutra people, yo, a plastic baggie? WTF? It wasn't even Ziploc, it spilled all over and then some more. This really needs to be in jar like my powdered makeup, with tiny holes on the top, so you can apply sparingly and not end up with 1/2 the bag on your sheets when an overly zealous hubby grabs it at the bottom. It sort of ruins the moment.
The Oil of Love, gently warms when you blow on it and it's not really oil, it's water based and washes off easily, which is a plus. You can use the Oil of Love as a lubricant or a massage oil. This was nice except for the packaging. It's a tiny bottle, with an even teenier tinier difficult to remove cork. Again, spillage. Are ya listening Kama Sutra marketing department?
The edible Vanilla Massage Cream was interesting, not quite as tasty as frosting or Cool Whip, but doable. At last, a container that I was pleased with, a small jar with a screw on top.
Finally, the Love Liquid, who names this stuff? But yeah, the Love Liquid was all that it promised to be, "slippery smooth through the night," packaged in a spill proof tube.
The concept behind this Bedside Lover's Tool Kit is great, it just needs a little fine tuning in my opinion.
Now I'm going to click my heels together and repeat "there's no place like Eden Fantasys, there's no place like Eden Fantasys, there's no place like Eden Fantasys" and maybe my fairy godfather will wave his magic wand (hehe, that made me giggle a little) and offer my readers a giveaway. Hey a girl's gotta have some FANTASYS.