Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Parenting is Tough


I might have been a better mother had you just been happy enough to stay 5 forever. I was good until 5, maybe a little longer. When you used to delight in "dancing in the kitchen with mom." When I had all the right answers. When just a kiss made your boo boo better. When biscuits and gravy for a good report card was the best reward ever. It was after that when you started forming your own opinions and wanting to be more independent that I started having trouble being a good mommy.

You're completely wrong when you scream at me "it's your way or the highway" That's not the reason I want you to see it my way at all. I want you to see it my way, because in the end my way will be less painful. I've walked that same path and I saw how it turned out. You're both sort of my do-over. If I had only chosen Path B, perhaps it would have spared the 3 of us a lot of grief.

But just as I wouldn't listen to those older and wiser than me, you have to find your own way in life.

P.S. Glittergurl, if you still insist on going, please take a blanket and wear your hat, it's cold out. and if by chance you see your brother, tell him I love him.

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13 comments:

Jenni said...

Parenting is not for the weak of heart, man...it's a jungle out there.

Jennifer Suarez said...

This part that you said:

"That's not the reason I want you to see it my way at all. I want you to see it my way, because in the end my way will be less painful. I've walked that same path and I saw how it turned out. You're both sort of my do-over. If I had only chosen Path B, perhaps it would have spared the 3 of us a lot of grief."

Is so painfully true. I wish I had learned that when I was younger, but as you also said, we didn't, and neither will our precious babies. They have to find their own way.

This post was awesome, and I know, as my children grow older, that I'll relate more and more with every passing year.

Thank you for writing it so eloquently.

Unknown said...

AWE....HUGS!!!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Why does Mother Nature make all this parenting and growing up stuff so damn hard???

Keep breathing.

Dawn said...

Ugh!! I'm so worried about the teen years.

((((Hugs)))))

Debz said...

This doesn't sound good at all. I hope everything is ok.

I sometimes think it all went wrong when we taught them to talk. And maybe walk.

Unknown said...

oh, my heart hurts for you. Little feet tread softly on our hearts, as the feet grow, they are heavier on our hearts.
Please know, our babies are always our babies. They forget for a while, then it comes back to them!
My heart hurts for you....
~AM

Kathy B! said...

This is my worst nightmare. I hope this turns out okay... I'll be joining you here shortly and I'm scared witless.

Alice said...

I am raising my fifth child (two were stepdaughters). Although four are in their late 20's to mid 20's, we still have a 13 year old. He is a special child and so we will probably always be with him. Still remember words coming out of my mouth and thinking "Oh, no that was my mother!" Every day I keep trying to be the best mother I can. And to forgive myself when I don't quite make it.

Alice said...

Oops, I just read my comment please understand mid 20's was supposed to say mid 30's. Kids are: 13, 28, 32, 32, 35.

Cynthia said...

I am not ready! (hugs)

Betsy Hart said...

I am sooo not ready for that stage. BIG HUGS to you!!

MommyGeekology said...

So brave/strong of you to let her spread her wings a little and make those decisions... even if they may end up mistakes. That must be so hard. I don't look forward to those days.

Hope it all turned out alright.

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