Friday, April 24, 2009

Blog Fart Friday

Blog Farts – noun.

Def: Crappy ideas that are too short
to make a real blog post,
but when combined,
join forces to make one unified,
albeit half assed, post.


I found this over at Mommy Madness and I just had to join in, because, well when you hang with a 3 year old and his Pa, farts are friggin hilarious!!!

We don't fluff it up here on The Avenue and call them "foofees" or "toots" we just get right to the point and call em FARTS. So I'm just gonna let em rip.

TOF at his tender young age already finds farting especially amusing. He farts, announces very loudly, "I fouwted" and proceeds to high five everyone nearby. Just this morning, (hanging my head in shame) as I was changing his diaper, he says to me, "Mema, you want to pull my finger?"

I'm equally proud to say that TOF can belch on command or whenever the mood strikes him. But wait the Pièce de résistance is when he trots around the house slapping his butt and chanting doopie crack. We practice only the most refined manners here on The Avenue. I predict the boy will be the very first preschooler to serve detention and/or be suspended.


So enough about the actual farts and on to the blog farts.

I think Spring is finally here, one can never be sure in J-Town, it could be 70 one day and then snow the next. But my daffodils are in full bloom so I'm leaning towards the positive and the dandelions are rearing their ugly heads too. Which can only mean that there will be yard work a plenty this weekend. Stock tip for everyone......Menards, Home Depot and Lowes. These stocks will most definitely surge on Monday after my contribution.


Before I forget, because that happens A LOT, a special shout out to Kathy B!'s mom. Mom stalks, er reads my blog regularly and is too shy to leave a comment. Hi Mrs K! Thanks for reading! And to answer your question....of course I'm Meg Ryan's mom, why would I make that up. Glitter Gurl = Meg(an) and Prodigal Son/Big Mouse = Ryan. So there you have the origin of MEGRYANSMOM.


And speaking of GlitterGurl, yesterday she says to me, "Kala went to Dr T's office and they told her that Dr H and Dr E were leaving the practice, did Augie Dawgs say anything about that?"

Now to clarify, Dr T is our cooter doctor, although I exclusively see Kate and she's staying. Kate however doesn't deliver babies and Dr T is a bit frail, so this poses a bit of a problem for Augie Dawgs, being as she's knocked up.

So now Augie Dawgs is in a bit of a frenzy as she needs to find a new hoo ha doctor that actually delivers babies and has a name she can easily pronounce. Because when the time comes, I'm not singing Kumbaya over some bath tub while we hold hands waiting for the baby to crown. Hell no.....we are both getting an epidural just like last time!


It's starting to smell in here so I'm signing off for now, Have a Farty Friday everyone!

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Jennifer Suarez said...

I agree with being straight forward and calling them farts. We do that in our house too and it drives my parents INSANE. They are always telling my girls "Saying fart is NOT NICE, please call it Gas in grandma and papa's house"

*eye roll*

PS: Three cheers for the epideral. During labor that is my first and ONLY love.

Anonymous said...

Love your posts. Kathy B`s MOM.

Unknown said...

pULL MY FINGER!!!! LMAO ahhhhh Rita why is that one of the first things they learn?

Hopefully the girls will find a new hoo ha doc and LOVED that your both gettin the epi! LOL ;-)

Alice said...

Very funny. We couldn't say fart or S**t. (Got slapped once for saying that when I was 17). My mother had us all say. Someone shot a rabbit. I thought that was so funny I used it with my older kids. They still say that and will laugh and laugh, and they are in their 30's. Patrick at 13 loves to say fart. He thinks he is getting away with something. We let him.

Akum said...

What did you eat.. It stinks like hell... LOL.. Happy Weekends

Kathy B! said...

Oh, HRH MRM... You've done it! The impossible!! No one has ever coaxed my mom out of the shadows before. Yay for you :) Hopefully she'll comment all the time now!

I am Harriet said...

Who knew?
I remember the first time I heard someone say they had a 'brain fart'.
I was laughing for days!

Unknown said...

That's funny! We were only allowed to say, "Pass gas" when we were kids.

You're kidding...he wanted you to pull his finger? Who's been corrupting that cutie?

Leah said...

LOL to all of the above! and good luck to finding a new doc to be delivering babies

amelia bedelia said...

As the only girl in a house full of boys...I know all about toots.

Julie D said...

OMG. That's a riot.

I'm here getting caught up on my blog reading!!! Have a great weekend!!!

Lola said...

If you're looking for one in Joliet, Dr. Francisco Garcini. He is affiliated with Silver Cross and has offices in Joliet and Frankfort.

By the way, you've been tagged. Stop by and check it out:

Emotionally Entertaining said...

Hello Sitsa! How's it going?

Lucy Filet said...

I love this idea! I have a lot of those, which usually just wind up as my FB status.

Nap Warden said...


Nap Warden said...


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