Things That Annoy Me

I really didn't make any resolutions for the new year. Weight loss has to be a lifestyle change and I've been battling it for almost 24 years now. Pause for a moment with me, while I mourn the passing of my youthful and very thin self. I don't think I'll ever really get over that loss, the youth part, eh that is totally wasted on the young. But ohhh to be thin again. I really want to be the hot Mema at preschool!

So I've been dragging myself to the gym. Actually it's been Whynot and a crane that have been dragging me, but I get there one way or another. With my trusty copy of Twilight, that I have been reading for 3 months now, I find the one open treadmill and soon learn why NO ONE is using it. To my left is Mr High Blood Pressure, my face is beat red, I cannot breathe and I'm sweating profusely while my treadmill is set at 1.0. But hey I give you an E for effort, you're at the gym making an attempt to be healthy. I can deal with that.

To my right!!! To my right people, is the most annoying life form placed on this earth! Mr I Think I Have a Loogey in my Throat and I Will Continuously Make This Wretched Noise. Like a tiny rapid fire machine gun going off every 45 seconds with an added click for extra annoyance. For the love of GOD, could you either a) choke and die already or b) bring some water with you.

Behind me we have the newbie that refuses to ask directions and instead just presses every damn button on the elliptical for 20 minutes! Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep.

And then I see her in the parking lot. Annie Rexic! Here she comes in her matching little bra type thingy and yoga pants. Perfectly coiffed hair and more make up than I wear on a good day. Puleese! Get over yourself! You're here to workout, not turn heads. And just exactly who's heads are you turning anyway? The two above mentioned life forms? No thank you!

I'm done. 35 minutes, a little shweaty, nice racing heart rate. I can go home now and have a box of cookies. Here ya go Annie, you can have my treadmill.

P.S. Ooops I almost forgot.....Happy Birthday....pfft

Another Manic Monday

Welcome back to reality. The holiday's are over. Chop chop back to the grind. If you were too busy to blog over the weekend go check this out and this here too. One more, thanks Annie for letting me go first ; 0 Back already? Did you remember to leave a comment for Annie? No? Go back, I'll wait right here. NOW! MARCH MARCH MARCH!

My weekend was nice and lazy, just the way I like them. Saturday night Whynot and I went to Chili's. They have THE. BEST. BACON. CHEESE. BURGERS. But the excitement didn't end there. Oh no, we know how to have a good time, Whynot and I. We drove to the nearest Super Target. Be still my heart. I've never been to one before! I wish it were closer, I'd shout SCREW YOU SUPER WALMART.

As I wandered through aisle after aisle in total euphoria I was often greeted by a very polite and eloquent Target employee. "Hi ma'am, can I help you find something?" It's exactly what I imagine grocery shopping in Heaven will be like. Because after all those years of Walmart shopping, there is NO doubt. I am going to Heaven!

It was clean. There were no transient families camping out at the head of the aisles. It was clean. The shelves were well stocked and neat. Oh yeah, did I mention it was CLEAN? The employees were so polite. It was like that movie Pleasantville.

All that fantasy inspired be to conduct a little scientific experiment on Sunday.

I asked myself the question: Will mold grow on a husband who sits on the couch watching football and hockey all day? The results are a startling NO. So there you have it, I've done all the work for you, just show this to your husbands and there will be no need to conduct the experiment in your own homes.

Happy Monday everyone. I'll be here munching on my Archer Farms Apricot Yogurt Oat Bars, wondering about things like mesothelioma, school loan consolidation, and cheapest auto insurance.

Lots of Magazine Deals

Surely one of your resolutions this year was to save money and I am more than happy to help you save money when spending.

Go "SPAVE" (thanks to Meghan for that delightful term.)

Here's a link I got in email for FREE subscriptions to

Family Fun

Latina

Entrepreneur

Computer Shopper

Weight Watchers

Parenting (2 years)

Thanks to My Shopping Addiction

Family Circle 15 issues for $3

Thanks to

More Magazine 10 issues FREE

Discount Mags has magazines for $3.50 each for 1-year subscription

Men’s Fitness coupon 2009MF (10 issues)

Weight Watchers with coupon 2009WW (6 issues)

Muscle & Fitness with coupon 2009MANDF (12 issues)

ESPN with coupon 2009ESPN (26 issues)

Thanks to My Penny Pile

Forbes One year FREE

Nylon One year FREE

Currently, at Adperk.com you can get a Field and Stream one year subscription for free after watching a few commercials. Bookmark and check back frequently as the offers change. You know, in case Field and Stream is not your thing. I'm just sayin.

Thanks to Three Bay B Chicks

To try out reading your magazines online (they have virtually everything available), go to http://goreadgreen.com/ to get your one year subscription, digitally, for FREE.

Thanks to

and

Wondertime TWO year subscription FREE

and if you just click here, Deal Seeking Mom has a ton more!

I'm Tweeting

So last night I took the plunge and signed up for Twitter. Maybe my coffee hasn't kicked in yet, but WHAT EXACTLY IS ALL THE FUSS? I did this same thing 10 years ago in the NBC Soaps Chatroom. But hey, when in Rome right?

If you Twitter or tweet, follow me, over there on the right, a little lower, yeah there. I promise to bore you death over there even more than on this blog.

A Glitter Gurl Update:

Thanks to all of you who left a thoughtful comment about the little shit. She stopped over yesterday looking for food to visit her favorite mother because she loves me. The gash is not so bad, she has youth to thank for that. It looks sooo much better than the picture I posted, but I couldn't very well say, hey let me take an updated picture for my blog. Although I should have. It's still a little swollen, but the skin is closing up nicely and that 1/2 inch thick layer of Neosporin she's sporting should help. The gash on Newman's hand looks a lot worse and I can only imagine what the d bag who caused this looks like.

Quick question! Who's going to Blogger '09? Who went last year? Was it worth it? Can I get away with going for the events, but going home at night? It's in my backyard practically and I can save some beans. Hey! Anyone need a cheap room for the weekend? I have 2 spare bedrooms here on The Avenue. Some sleeping bags too. I could easily sleep 20 or 30 of you.