Thursday, June 18, 2009

It May As Well Be Friday!


Ugghh it's only Thursday? How can that be? All day long I've been thinking it's Friday. I'm so over this week already, actually I was over this week at about noon on Monday. So it's not really Friday, correct? But it IS June? Not April? Because you sure fooled me Mother Nature. On one of those days this week that I was wishing was Friday, but was really Tuesday, it rained FOUR inches here in J-town! IN TWO HOURS! Half of my backyard was under water and I still haven't checked the crawl space. I'm afraid, very afraid of what lurks in THE CRAWL SPACE. The way I figure, if it's damaged, it's damaged, nothing I can do to salvage the crap in there anyway, and if it's not flooded, well than all is well. Just saved myself the aggravation of hauling everything out of the closet to take a peek. I should take a peek though, no? Maybe tomorrow, which would FINALLY be Friday and a day off for me, yippeeee. Just found out this morning, it was unexpected and I'm still doing the happy dance.

So I've been thinking of what I could do on a day off during the week. I could sleep in and/or sleep all day. I could clean my house, or not. I could catch up on soaps and Lifetime movies. I could go garage sale-ing, but it looks like more rain. I could go to the mall and get annoyed by all the teenyboppers that infest the place instead of being productive young people. Nah, I'll pass on the mall.

Perhaps I'll just sit around and ponder my latest dilemma....

As you know, my step-daughter, Augie Dawgs is pregnant again. Long story short, we found out about her 1st pregnancy about 2 months before TOF's arrival and it was winter, blah blah blah, so there was no time for me to plan a baby shower. She and her mom, Whynot's ex-wife, have a complex relationship and they weren't speaking at the time and long story longer, now they are civil with one another and Lord Helmet (the ex-wife) has announced that she would like to throw a baby shower for Augie Dawgs.

Since I've lost most of you in the above confusion, I'm just going to ramble a bit more here. Lord Helmet made life a living hell for all of us, and she has NEVER called me by my real name, I was always referred to as HER. My kids were always HER KIDS. As in, "look your dad is spending all his time with HER and HER KIDS!"

Now imagine Augie Dawgs' shock and surprise when Lord Helmet asked her if she would like to invite Megryansmom and Glittegurl to the baby shower. She looked at Lord Helmet and said, "my God you know my sister's name!!??"

So now I am faced with this predicament.....do I go and bury the hatchet, or stay far away in fear of the hatchet being buried in my back when I 'm not looking? If I go, should I bring all my own food and beverages? Or just say, "no thanks, I'm really not hungry and/or thirsty." I really want to go, because I'm a bitch like that, but of course I would never cause a scene. And it has been TWENTY friggin years! Glittergurl has already requested the day off at work, she's definitely going because she wants to meet the crazy lady that always made a scene at Jewel when we all happened to be there at the same time.

What do you guys think I should do?

p.s. If I do go I already told Augie Dawgs I'm bringing a cheap, cheesy, crappy gift, because I'm a bitch like that.


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18 comments:

Undomesticated said...

If it was me? I would go and be the first one there. I would take my loudest friend with me and I would offer to help on a regular basis. The more nice you are the more she will sit and stew in her own crap! I would have loads of fun with that baby shower.

Miz Q said...

HAHAHAH!! OH BOY!

First, you should type it HellMET.

Second, the above suggestions regarding being SO SWEET HER TEETH HURT is also fun!

Third, make SURE Shrek is invited too!!

Fourth, instead of ONE gift, bring EVERY SINGLE THING you find to buy for new baby TO THE SHOWER as PROOF of how loving and GENEROUS you are ;o)

FINALLY, be the FIRST one there and the LAST ONE TO LEAVE. Stand at the door and greet each guest's coming AND going. THANK you so much for playing :o)

Maybe you can get Ninny to come too! lol

Jenni Jiggety said...

I say GO! Ask for seconds on the cake, and ooh and ahh loudly as the gifts are opened!

Leah said...

wow, good luck with whatever decision you make. I say go and just be TOO nice and over the top. LOL Kill her with kindness.

Stacie said...

I say GO... I would go and have a good time. Be loud, Eat Much, Laugh alot!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Oh yeah, be really sweet and nice. Wrap up small gifts individually so that everyone has to wait until they are all open. Then, call her "Girlfriend" before you start every sentence. Smile when you say it. LOL

Michelle said...

Go. Be pleasant. It isn't about you; it's about her. If the mom makes an issue, rise above and ignore it -- that'll tick her off more than anything else if she chooses to play that way. And ummm then come back and blog all about it! ;)

Lola said...

I agree with first to get there last to leave. And remember to KWK. (Kill With Kindness). Be the better person, that way if she is a real tool to you, she will be the one that looks foolish, not you.

mommygeekology said...

I'm with Undomesticated. I'd go, be awesomely, uncontestably nice, and look like a freaking ROSE while she looked like dog poop. :)

Jennifer Suarez said...

I gotta agree with the others that would go to Kill Em With Kindness route.

It works. I do it A LOT and trust me, the other person ends up feeling so STUPID most of the time. And if they don't? Well then at least EVERYONE else thinks they are CRAZY when they start talking about how much they dislike you.

"really? HER? But she seemed SO NICE!"

It's evil at it's best.

BTW, I was reading this through google reader, and your first line about it only being Thursday SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME for a moment. It's Friday, but my days are all messed up cuz I took the day off on Monday, so for a moment, I thought *I* was wrong about today being Friday and it REALLY WAS THURSDAY!!! Thankfully you wrote this yesterday.

PHEW!

Kathy B! said...

You should seriously ask Wifey. She would give you really good advice. Me? I'd stew over it until the 11th hour. Agree to go and then feign some sort of illness right before the party. I have no backbone!!

Somehow I think you'll come up with a better answer! I miss seeing you around the blogosphere... I hope you're spending your day doing something fun. Maybe a movie in a real theatre if it still looks crummy?

I'm just me... said...

I agree. I say go and be the nicest, sweetest stepmom you can possibly be. Take a great gift and offer to help. Kill them with kindness is always the best!

Lola said...

It's Friday now! Hope you had a great day off.

countryfriedmama said...

You have wise readers. I must echo the advice to go and be sweet as pie. Augie Dawgs will appreciate it.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I'm also with Undomesticated. Be so nice and loud and helpful that it drives them batty.

Isabel Princes said...

Well I was going to comment to go and be nice (but not too nice, otherwise you look like a fake beeootch), but looks like that has been taken care of.....
Congrats on the new grandbaby!

DeeX said...

The Libra in my cannot decide if you should go or not.
See if you go, you will get plenty of new material to use to SHREAD her. On the other hand if you DONT go she will have NO new material to shred you with.
So you see my dilemea?
Please Advise.

Mrs4444 said...

I see you've softened already :) That gift is far from cheap, cheesy, or crappy! I would do whatever your step daughter sincerely wants. If your presence would create drama for her that day, you would not want to do that. As her, and truly listen to her answer.

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