A few days ago Glitter Gurl texted me to ask if I could make her a New Years' Eve dress. As in this NYE. I told her yes, if it wasn't too complicated. Glitter Gurl doesn't sew. At all. I sew, but haven't done it well in years. I limit myself to crafty items that I can accomplish in 10 minutes or less. Zippers, button holes, gathering, and satiny shiny fabrics make me break out in hives. Sister Claudette would not be pleased. The dress Glitter Gurl had in mind would never be completed in time without a trip to the rubber room at St Joe's for me.
I did the next best thing. I started searching online for dresses that fit the description she gave me. And BINGO! I came up with several nice, reasonably priced dresses and I suggested we go to the mall to try them on.
A bit of history here...Glitter Gurl and I do not have the same flavor in fashion. I would go so far as to say she has no flavor. Shopping with her is the equivalent of stabbing myself in the eyes with hot pokers. And yet, in less than one hour at JCPenney's, she was paying for a lovely black velvet cocktail dress with this big broach in the center of the empire waist on a satin ribbon that tied in the back. On clearance and she had a $10 off coupon, so the total was under $30! The length was a little longer than she liked, but I could easily hem that.
We came back home, I pinned it where it needed to be hemmed and told her I'd get to it later that evening.
A few hours later she emails me...please tell me you haven't hemmed the dress yet.
I found one I like better at Kohl's for $30.
Oh, OK. What does it look like?
It's black with a burgundy flower. And it has tulle, to make it poof a little.
This morning she texts me to say, what does an ear infection feel like? I feel like someone is stabbing me in the ear.
Yup, that's what they feel like. Call Kate's office and have them call in an RX. Amoxicillin at Walmart for $4 and take tylenol or ibuprofen too.*
Ughh can you just call Laura, they are such biotches at Kate's office, I hate talking to them.
Yeah ok fine.
K, Laura is calling it in now.
Oh and you shouldn't get stinkin drunk on antibiotics and please use back up birth control.
And don't tan!
Mom! What kind of girl do you think I am?
Just sayin, cuz that's how we got TOF.
Nooooo! On antibiotics.
Yeah and eat yogurt!
Did you hem that dress yet?
No, I told you that yesterday.
Maybe you didn't hear me...this phone is a piece of ca ca I'm not getting ur emails.
Maybe you didn't hear me! You're the one with the ear infection.
Good one! Ur jokes kill me! K luv you bye.
love you too!
*I'm Dr. Mom, I'm totally authorized to do stuff like that.